It’s that time of year again folks, some of the countries biggest breweries are getting together to whip up some of the most banal collabs ever known to man, and the world and their sinks cant wait to get that sweet nectar poured down them.
The brainchild of some inconsequential ‘micro’ breweries, the giants of the Daft Beer industry took their small scale idea and have blown it up into the greatest beer challenge known to man!
So who are the collaborators this year? The list below makes for fascinating reading!
So what can we expect?
Well when the magic hat selected Starling and Mudkaiser together, there was a tidal wave of excitement which washed over the entire UK daft beer community. The excitement which has driven many folk to try the Starkaiser blend of their two core, sorry only, beers. This isn’t your agricultural granular craft blend, this is two of the worlds biggest selling beers coming together to unite all their flavours into one glass. The mega bland blend! And many houses up and down the country are readying their sinks to welcome the arrival of such great daft beer.
In contrast, we have Rod Smiths and Hidethetin paired which will make for
fascinating outputs. Two very contrasting histories, two very contrasting colour schemes, the outcome of their collaboration will be eagerly awaited as no one quite knows what it will look like. Naturally we know it won’t taste any good, but that’s not the point. These beers aren’t made for that, its not their primary purpose and nor should it be. They have a proud tradition which they must stick to!
And what of the styles? Well as we’ve seen in the past the Belfast sink lends itself to a vivacious pour, rattling into the corners of the porcelain. This is a beer that needs to be able to travel and explore. The double bowl needs a bigger bottle, with more surface to cover and two plugholes to attack. But surely these tried and tested beers have the greatest challenge with the new fancy modern undermount sink. This isnt for the feight of heart brewer, but surely the experienced staff at Mean Thing have the skills to pay the bills. No other brewer is more au fait with the drainpour than they are.
You know what makes me laugh, there are those out there that are so blinkered by hops and malt and yeast and flavourful beer, that they can no longer appreciate the sinkpour quality that these brewers bring to the table. Its sad times. I’ve no doubt that sooner or later they’ll see the light, they’ll see the sink and wonder if they’re missing out. They drink in such a small sector of the market, they have no idea what goes on outside their own bubble. And Bubble is the word here, no drainpour would be complete without sufficient effervescent bubbles to really make those sinks really shine!
Form an orderly queue folks, the collectors box will include full non-tasting notes and a limited edition spouted glass beautifully designed by industry experts. These highly sought after collector’s items will be available online from all reputable dealers from 12pm on Friday 13th May. And I’m afraid to say, miss them and erm miss out. There won’t be a second chance here! And if you aren’t able to get hold of one of these boxes, the whole daft beer word will be dead to you. You will be a social media outcast. Expect your follower numbers to hit the floor, your facebook likes to vanish overnight. Before you know it you’ll be back in the dark ages again, on your own, with no one to talk to, scary, are you scared yet?, you could just buy a box and avoid all that, go on you know you want to, what have you got to lose?……
Please note: the above post is entirely fictitious, any resemblance to real life people, businesses or events are purely coincidental. Its just abit of fun!
Oh and please folks, #NoMoFOMO